Everything that has happened to me in the past two years, mainly Freshman and Sophomore year in high school, has been hectic. Just recently when my ex-boyfriend and I broke up (18th of March) I was so depressed and upset and confused and whole bunch of other feelings that I can't really explain at the moment, but what I can say is that I was suicidal and that was not the first time I have felt that way.
That's when I decided that I wasn't going to let a little high school drama get in my way. There's so many people out there and I will more than likely find that "special" one for me. I got out a notebook and started my journey through everything that has prepared me for the future. The things that have happened to me since I've started high school, was suicidal thoughts, my brother was also suicidal and cut himself, a so called "boyfriend" over Freshman into Sophomore summer cheated lied and used me just to get sex. (Don't worry I didn't do it I knew better than that). I was dumped by him because he already had a girlfriend who had a miscarriage that summer as well. He made me feel bad just because I wouldn't have sex with him, but thankfully I have gotten over him even though he hurt me in so many different ways.
I had another guy at the end of the summer of 08' decide that he really loved me and wanted to go back out with me, but I didn't love him but I felt really bad even though we never got back together. He told me to "fuck off" one day because I was only telling him the truth and he kept bothering me about it. Then just recently, me ex broke up with me (from the first paragraph) because he told me he didn't love me anymore and that the age difference was killing him (I'm 16 almost 17 and he turned 19 in Feb) and he didn't like the drama involved with me and my friends. The stupid thing is is that I'm the most least dramatic person in school. Honestly where would life be if we didn't have drama anyway? We'd all be gray blobs walking around in circles.
I was close to another suicidal meltdown until I got the idea of turning my life experiences into stories so people will know that "your not alone". Life hurts sometimes but we have to live through it and you have to find your own way of dealing with the stress that comes with it. Everything that happens in life happens for a reason and is an everyday miracle. When you find friends, it's a miracle. When the flowers bloom, it's a miracle. When a person realizes that family and friends are more important than drugs or alcohol or a bad break up, THAT is a miracle. I hope to get this story published sometime over the summer so I can help people understand it's okay to feel the way they're feeling. That's how people learn and that's what makes us human. Life gives you these problems to learn and succeed better in the future.
By Julia
